- v = 0.836B1.5
where v is wind speed in metres per second and B is the Beaufort Scale number.
The Beaufort Scale of Domestic Cleanliness
Clinically spotless. Gleaming. The clean room of a biological weapons research laboratory.
Recently dusted show house. Only ever seen in computer simulations of proposed real estate.
As featured in 'House Beautiful' magazine, the place is immaculate except for copies of 'Horse and Hound' or 'Country Life' strategically placed in the vain hope of giving it a 'lived in' look.
This is about as clean and tidy as a real residence can ever achieve. Some dust on inaccessible horizontal surfaces and the occasional fallen leaf from potted plants.
Dusty surfaces, occasional coffee cups, cans and crockery on tables. Toys and games stuffed under furniture.
DVDs, books and magazines on many horizontal surfaces. Empty beer cans, crockery and pizza boxes near armchairs. Unused toys scattered around the floor.
Minimum achievable in undergraduate accommodation.
Crockery, Chinese takeaway cartons and pizza boxes contain the putrefying remains of long-forgotten food. Spilled drinks have dried into carpets, and uncarpeted floor areas are sticky.
Difficult to walk around the rooms without impaling oneself on toys, cutlery or motorcycle parts.
All horizontal surfaces covered with tools, papers, cans and packets. Real floor is invisible, and walls largely obscured by boxes, boards, piles of books, CDs and engine parts.
Dog, cat and toddler mess remains insitu until it has dried and turned into dust. Moribund consumer electronics serve as storage areas and furniture.
Pathogens multiply uncontrollably. Anyone entering this place without full biochemical protection risks contracting diseases.
Dead bodies left putrefying where they expired. New invertebrate species evolve spontaneously from the feet-deep miasma coating all surfaces.
This blog post was inspired in part by this piece of inanity.