Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Budapest VIII

A month has passed. The festive season intervened and, as one of my friends put it, “The Budapestian builders have achieved nothing over Christmas.” Indeed they didn’t, having all sodded off to their families in Bulgaristan.

But they’re back now. The plasterboard wall between the sitting room and Bedroom 2 is nearly complete. It needs a second layer of gypsum board for stiffening and to support a wall-mounted telly should one ever be attached. I have specified six (yes six) power points plus data outlets. Telly, DVD player, cable TV decoder, WiFi transmitter, stereo system… It soon mounts up, and it’d be nice not to require a load of power strips. This is similar reasoning behind the excessive number of power outlets in the kitchen.

Speaking of kitchen, plasterboard has appeared here too. The triangular box-out will be the backing to the cooker and the extractor hood will be mounted on it with an exhaust to outside through the real wall behind. I really want to keep things tidy. Naturally, the plasterboard guys buried the cooker and extractor power outlets, and put a metal bracing strut immediately behind where the exhaust duct has to go. I have had a word, and it’s to be fixed.

At last the front door has arrived. Partly because Beloved Wife got burgled when she was staying in an AirBnB where the miscreants jimmied the plastic door open, I have specified a steel security door with multiple locks and shoot bolts that go into the frame on all four sides. This should at least discourage the sticky-fingered oiks and have them looking elsewhere for their drug money.

Meanwhile, I’ve been shopping. The current residence is piling up with lighting, ceramicware, and even kitchen hardware. Better to carry this back from the shop when Beloved Wife is in town than to carry it all myself. On the Metro.

A decision still has to be made regarding lighting for the bathroom and hall. The local DIY megastores carry a bewildering array of light fittings for wildly differing tastes. Looking to match an existing light fitting, I went into an Emporium of Expensive Designer Lighting and showed them the photo. Paraphrasing, I was told that “That’s cheap Chinese shit. We don’t stock cheap Chinese shit.”

Indeed they don’t. I asked where their stuff came from, and was advised that everything comes from China these days. Designed in Germany; made in China; yadda yadda. So they only actually stock expensive Chinese shit. Glad that’s clear.

Anyhoo, back in the flat, the floor tiles are going in from next Monday, to be closely followed by wall tiles and the kitchen, which is designed but I have yet to pay for and arrange delivery and installation.

As for bedroom wardrobes, beds, and other furnishings, these will have to wait. There’s not enough room in the flat for everything in one go.


Thursday, January 05, 2017

Swedish wish

I went and bought a flat in Budapest in Hungary.
It needed bits and pieces, and a little TLC.
The furnishing was Spartan, and I had nowhere to sit;
No sofa, 'cos the previous occupant had taken it.

Cheap seats, cheap beds, the answer's very clear:
It seemed as though I'd need to pay a visit to IKEA.

Well, I jumped upon the Metro, which would take me there, I'd read.
And sure enough, outside the station was a big blue shed.
With notebook and small pencil, and a tape-measure of paper,
I wove my way around the store, emerging some time later.

Cheap TV stands, lots of kitchen gear.
It seems there is no limit to the products in IKEA.

With measurements in hand, I had decided to be wary
I'd check the flat's dimensions to avoid the Fcek-up Fairy.
Today I'd stick to only buying bedding that was cheap;
The choice was that or having nowhere comfortable to sleep

Now the disadvantages were clear:
It's hard to get the stuff home on the Metro from IKEA.

At last I had a shopping list of all the things I'd need
To turn a flat into a home. I went and did the deed.
A sofa and a bookcase, and some things I found good looking,
A lampshade and some lightbulbs, plus some pans to do some cooking.

Bits and bobs, I bought a load, I fear
There's no end to temptation to buy extras in IKEA.

I couldn't get a sofa and a bookcase on the train.
It's really quite impossible; not merely just a pain.
I organised delivery, for which there'd be a fee.
They dropped it off next morning and I paid them COD.

Lots of cardboard boxes did appear
Containing 3D jigsaw puzzles: products from IKEA.

It's really quite straightforward to assemble once you get on.
I started with the BILLY, then moved on to the FRIHETON.
My confidence secure, and having done it without bitchin'
The next day I returned to buy a customised new kitchen.

Design now for delivery next year.
A kitchen's complicated, even if it's from IKEA.

And everything is extra, from the handles to the hinges,
The cupboard fronts, the worktops, even legs, despite my whinges.
I think I'll get the expert fitters in to do the build.
I did one once before, and found I wasn't very skilled.

Started cheap, now I shed a bitter tear...
It seems that my life savings have been eaten by IKEA.


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