Thursday, January 05, 2017
I went and bought a flat in Budapest in Hungary.
It needed bits and pieces, and a little TLC.
The furnishing was Spartan, and I had nowhere to sit;
No sofa, 'cos the previous occupant had taken it.
Cheap seats, cheap beds, the answer's very clear:
It seemed as though I'd need to pay a visit to IKEA.
Well, I jumped upon the Metro, which would take me there, I'd read.
And sure enough, outside the station was a big blue shed.
With notebook and small pencil, and a tape-measure of paper,
I wove my way around the store, emerging some time later.
Cheap TV stands, lots of kitchen gear.
It seems there is no limit to the products in IKEA.
With measurements in hand, I had decided to be wary
I'd check the flat's dimensions to avoid the Fcek-up Fairy.
Today I'd stick to only buying bedding that was cheap;
The choice was that or having nowhere comfortable to sleep
Now the disadvantages were clear:
It's hard to get the stuff home on the Metro from IKEA.
At last I had a shopping list of all the things I'd need
To turn a flat into a home. I went and did the deed.
A sofa and a bookcase, and some things I found good looking,
A lampshade and some lightbulbs, plus some pans to do some cooking.
Bits and bobs, I bought a load, I fear
There's no end to temptation to buy extras in IKEA.
I couldn't get a sofa and a bookcase on the train.
It's really quite impossible; not merely just a pain.
I organised delivery, for which there'd be a fee.
They dropped it off next morning and I paid them COD.
Lots of cardboard boxes did appear
Containing 3D jigsaw puzzles: products from IKEA.
It's really quite straightforward to assemble once you get on.
I started with the BILLY, then moved on to the FRIHETON.
My confidence secure, and having done it without bitchin'
The next day I returned to buy a customised new kitchen.
Design now for delivery next year.
A kitchen's complicated, even if it's from IKEA.
And everything is extra, from the handles to the hinges,
The cupboard fronts, the worktops, even legs, despite my whinges.
I think I'll get the expert fitters in to do the build.
I did one once before, and found I wasn't very skilled.
Started cheap, now I shed a bitter tear...
It seems that my life savings have been eaten by IKEA.