Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Blue is the new green

Picture of Neytiri nicked from Wikipedia
Blog post title nicked from Jax.

I loved Avatar. The story held me captivated for the complete duration of the film, and for a couple of hours I completely forgot that it was almost all special effects. Apart from the creatures, the indigenous Na’vi and the Hallelujah Mountains, I appreciated the high-tech VTOL aircraft and head-up 3D displays.

On the subject of 3D, I did see the film in 3D. It was well worth it. Fortunately the third dimension was used to immerse the viewer in the world of Pandora, rather than to provide a succession of hostile beasts leering into the auditorium.

Among the said hostile beasts were a kind of hammerheaded rhinoceros, a ‘panther from hell’, a ‘six-legged alien Clydesdale’, and the Great Leonopteryx: the top of the airborne food chain and a brightly-coloured, four-winged, dragon-like beast. And the giant Christmas tree worms will be eerily familiar to anyone who’s dived on a coral reef, as will the bioluminescence.

It would appear from this Daily Telegraph article that the film is overly realistic. It’s not only the Na’vi who are feeling blue by the time the credits roll. It Isn’t Real, people! It’s Pretend! It’s Been Made Up! Are these the same people, I wonder, who spend their spare time investigating the backs of apple-wood wardrobes, or asserting that there is no spoon?

Anyway, unless you hate and detest Sci-Fi or fantasy, I’d certainly recommend seeing the film; if possible the 3D version, and maybe even the IMAX.

I came out of the cinema awed, but with what the Germans call an Ohrwurm: an earworm: that tune in your head that is impossible to shift. Failing humming the entirety of Henry Mancini’s Pink Panther theme (which is normally an effective remedy) I have written down my earworm. Caution: Here may be spoilers.

Locals are hostile. You’re
Dodging arrows while you’re
Mining unobtainium.
Displace all the natives;
Helping them is racist:
‘White Messiah’ just ain’t done.

Jarheads gonna hate ya
When you link with nature,
Ten feet tall and painted blue.
Wanna fight and and frag ’em
Airborne on a dragon?
There is something you must do:

Join the Na’vi!
You will need an avatar
’cos the Na’vi
Live on planet Pandora.
But you’re human
And you can’t get thah from hyah.
They’re the Na’vi.
They’re the Na’vi.

In the Na’vi
You can breathe the atmosphere,
And the Na’vi
’gainst warmongers show no fear.
’cos the Na’vi
Hold the ecosystem dear.
That’s the Na’vi.
That’s the Na’vi.



hemlock said...

call me superficial but i watched the movie thinking all the na'vis needed nose-jobs.
and yes, the movie was amazing.

nzm said...

brilliant ditty once more, GG!

Word on the street is that the IMAX 3D is a little less in quality than the ordinary 3D, but I haven't yet seen both versions to make a personal observation.

Mme Cyn said...

The Telegraph article -- another confirmation that too many people nowadays are living virtual lives.

alexander... said...

Help! I'm trapped in your blog!

Mita said...

Couldn't've put it better myself - I want to be a Navi - if anyone knows how please let me know.

Grumpy Goat said...

If it would help, Mita, I do have some blue paint left over from when we redecorated the bedroom ;-)

Or there's always woad...

"...Woad's the stuff to show, men.
Woad to scare your foemen.
Boil it to
A brilliant blue,
And rub it on your back
And your abdomen..."

Mita said...

LOL Thanks!

Anonymous said...

I haven't seen the film, it's too expensive to go to the cinema here, so I'll wait until they start showing it every Christmas on TV!

A 2 Z said...

I would say that their skin color is more of a navi-blue....


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