Friday, July 22, 2016

These brambles are tasty

Lifted from Rentagoat
(yes, I know goats don't have top front teeth)
For no better reason than it just occurring to me that the long-running children's comedy show Rentaghost (BBC 1976-1984) is ripe for a pun, I made the connection with Conservation Grazing.

That is, using goats to remove invasive plant species rather than pumping chemicals over the plants and everything besides, attacking the plants with whirling blades of death, or killing everything in the vicinity with fire.

The thing is, a Company Song is missing. Until now. The song is sung by a choir of company employees. Well, the last line of the song.

Tune and original lyrics by Michael Staniforth, who also starred in Rentaghost.

If your garden is a shambles, just call Rent-A-Goat.
Are your ditches full of brambles? You need Rent-A-Goat.
We’ll eradicate your kudzu and remove invasive weeds;
It can be verified we don’t use herbicide, so just call Rent-A-Goat.

If your stately home’s a mess you should call Rent-A-Goat.
That poison ivy we’ll address because we’re Rent-A-Goat.
We are quiet while we’re working, and we don’t need gasoline.
We work without a fuss; you’ll barely notice us from Rent-A-Goat.

Have you tried a pesticide with side-effects you can’t abide?
Are you reliant upon high technology?
Perhaps you should take note that by contacting Rent-A-Goat
You can achieve it more environmentally.

There is a goatherd who will stay alert. That’s Rent-A-Goat
Who will ensure your orchids won’t be hurt. That’s Rent-A-Goat.
Now that your land is neat and tidy, recommend us to your friends.
We’ll conservation-graze and we work seven days at Rent-A-Goat.



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