Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Drive like the Bangles

Encouraged by comments on SD's post, the muse appeared and made me come up with this. Thank you to the Egyptian in the blue Chevy who hit a parked car and then was too busy to wait for the police to turn up. This despite it being The Law not to leave the scene of an traffic accident, however minor. Thanks to an alert watchman, the Man Who Parks By Braille's insurance company should soon be footing my repair bill. I wonder if the police would have been so relaxed about his non-attendance at the scene if he'd reversed over a small child?


All the dents and scrapes on your car:
Where do they come from? Don’t you know?
If you drive too fast, (oh, way, oh),
You will cause people lots of woe.

All the bizarre men by the Nile:
They drive at midnight for a lark
With headlights off, (oh, way, oh),
So you can’t see them in the dark.

In an accident yesterday
I cried, “Woe, aye, woe
Aye, woe, aye, woe.”
'Cos of an Egyptian.

I parked my car in a space
When I arrived at my place of work.
Two hours on, I was told
It had been dented by a jerk.

By the time the police had arrived,
The other car was a long time gone.
Three hours I had to wait around
All because of that Egyptian.

Someone noted his licence plate,
So, why oh why
Is he allowed to
Drive like an Egyptian?

On the street put your feet on the dash
Shift the seat, so it’s leaning back.
Think you look so cool, (oh, way, oops),
As you collide with a Cadillac!

Now you need to find any cop,
So hang around for an hour or more.
When one arrives, (oh, way, oh),
You get the blame if you are insured.

All the rich kids with their Patrols,
And the Echo and the Sunnymen.
We all know that to survive
We’ve got to drive like Egyptians.

All the cops ever seem to do is
Say, “ ‘Ello,
‘Ello, ‘Ello, oh…
You drive like an Egyptian.”

Drive like an Egyptian.

7 comments:

Mme Cyn said...

Gadgetboy & I p!ssed ourselves laughing at this one today -- I was still humming as I went into class. I hope you feel better now...

secretdubai said...

Oh I love it! Nearly as much as "Norks like an Egyptian". To be honest, I don't think I will read anything as brilliant as that until my dying day.

We should hold an Official UAE Blogger Doggerel competion. We could call it "Bloggerel" perhaps.

Anonymous said...

Paul,
"Blue Chevy"...what happened to the jap motor?
cheers
pegs

Grumpy Goat said...

Pegs,
The Japanese jelly-mould got dented by the Egyptian in the blue Chevy. Sorry if that wasn't clear.

dubaibaggie said...

You appear to have a total bias against certain nationalities and vehicles - a case of prado and prejudice?

kaya said...

OH THAT IS FUNNY FUNNY!WELL DONE .Grumpy.I still singing/ like the aye woe aye woe bestest.
LMAO @ dubaibaggie
PRADO and prejudice. Brilliant

Luna Piena said...

"feet on the dash
Shift the seat, so it’s leaning back."....
i'm half egyptian...
and i ASSURE u, thats defiantely local driving. not egyptian. egyptian is alot more geeky/scared, yet crazy kind of driving.
still, your anger here is totally well-expressed.
bravo!

 

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