Thursday, July 18, 2013

I'm melllting, mellltiiing!

At first, I thought I was looking at a satire site. There was a parody news article published about how hot the UK was, and how this was the most serious heatwave since 2006.

But no: the article wasn't from The Onion, Newsbiscuit, or The Pan Arabia Enquirer. It was from the BBC.

Apparently, Britons are sweltering under a solar furnace that has pushed peak daytime temperatures up to around 30°C, and the article is full of helpful advice involving staying well hydrated, wearing loose cotton clothes and a hat, and opening the windows. No shit, Sherlock!

The article even goes on to introduce a ready-reckoner. Type in your local temperature, and the computer comes back with places elsewhere in the world that are even hotter. Provided, that is, that they're no hotter than Bangkok at a mere 33°C.

Not a mention of Dubai at 42°C, Baghdad at 46°C, or Yuma, Arizona at 42°C. (Source: I'm not Australian, but I suspect that if the BBC compared UK's allegedly high temperatures with
the planet's real hotspots, it would show up the whinging Poms for what they are. Have some sense of proportion, people! I'll start to believe that it's too hot when news articles about the heat don't include people in a state of undress lounging on deckchairs in the sun.

I'm not claiming that temperatures in the low thirties are cool. And I do appreciate that endemically hot places tend nowadays to come with air conditioning. I know of nobody in Blighty who has aircon fitted in a house.

Perhaps the good citizens of Britain should do what we do in Dubai, and spend the day strolling around an air-conditioned shopping mall.

And now I shall go and brave Dubai's outdoor temperatures. As it's the Holy Month of Ramadan, it's Nil By Mouth until sunset, and in public that applies to everyone and not just to Muslims. Consider that, as you tuck into your refreshing ice cream, orange cordial or Stella Artois.


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