Paracetamoxyfrusebendroneomycin

My medication is Not Coming in Dubai™. The supply dried up a couple of months ago, and I’m approaching the bottom of my last bottle. None of the many pharmacies I’ve tried have got it. They’re probably all telling the truth, because they all give the same story, which is this: “The supplier hasn’t brought any from Germany. We remind him every day.”

So what is the problem? A local chemist can’t simply have a boxful of pharmaceuticals FedEx’d; anything like that has to be imported under the aegis of the Ministry of Health. Any opiate, for example, may only be imported and then prescribed under strict controls. Panacodol, available over the counter in Boots the Chemist in UK, contains codeine, which would earn you a four-year stay at the Al Wathba Minus Seven Star Desert Resort if you turned up at the airport with some.

But my prescription isn’t on the banned substances list. In fact, it’s available over the counter - when it’s actually in stock. The 50μg pills are on the shelf and for sale, but it’s the 100μg that aren’t available.

My cynical streak infers a conspiracy to increase profits. If I buy the 50μg, I’ll have to take two at a time. The packages are both the same price, so essentially the cost of my medication doubles. Once the 50μg pills have all gone, I’m stuffed.

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