Thursday, May 17, 2007

More bling

Some months ago, one of the major Dubai blingmongers ran a radio advertising campaign on Thi Bitti Meex. The brief was to enter a contest by writing some form of poem about jewellery. The prize for the best entry would presumably be something shiny.

Well, I entered, and then heard nothing. I don't know what happened to the contest. Perhaps no-one entered, or everyone who did refused to be serious and instead took the p!ss. In the words of Tom Lehrer: "The fact that I failed to win the contest I can only ascribe to blatant favouritism on the part of the judges."

There is, however, no escape from my seemingly limitless supply of doggerel:-

    Puzzle rings, platinum, bracelets with charms on.
    Glittering diamonds I must get my palms on.
    Rubies of red and a necklace of pearls:
    These are the things that impress all the girls.

    I'm like a small child in a shop selling candy.
    My fingers have rings that are all Krugerrandy.
    I cannot resist, and I never ask why
    Someone requires a gold Burj Dubai.

    Ladies' names rendered in Arabic letters;
    Bracelets as heavy as medieval fetters.
    Silver or gold; miscellaneous bling:
    This is my ultimate favourite thing!

    More precious stones than the Duchess of Warwick;
    Mobile phones I've had plated all auric.
    What is the limit? I tell you the truth:
    I've even a diamond attached to my tooth!

    I'm a rapper; I'm a wide boy;
    I'm Jumeirah Jane.
    I'm right in your face with my show of good taste
    And materialistic gain.

(With suitable apologies to Rodgers and Hammerstein)


Anonymous said...

TM would like to know if the groom will be singing this at the wedding?

Grumpy Goat said...

Definitely not. And Tom Lehrer songs have been banned as well.


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